- querzion - the way of nevyn

Alla inlägg den 8 mars 2017

Av Slisk Lindqvist - 8 mars 2017 12:09


I have for almost a years time now, had the strange notions that things have changed, I clearly remember things differently, like the Volvo, Ford, Coca Cola logos being a tad different, from how they are now, the same goes for some movie titles and a couple of well known songs, also quote's used in a whole different manner or not at all, and even if some other "mandela effected" people have found some "hard evidence" well that still is'nt convincing the masses that it is a real issue, such as the Star Wars manuscript saying "Luke, I am your father", and also the actual voice of Darth Vader is his own evidence. I know that I have never read the manuscript or a manuscript for a movie in my whole life or this reality atleast so I can't indorse it as the whole truth. I also have memories of some landmasses and regions in geography being placed differently, I understand that anyone who has'nt used an atlas for a while could much definetly remember it wrong.

The fact that my own memories are the "stable" things holding the mandela effect together only to be taken as mere fragmentations of truth or as fiction by others are not really something that I find as open minded. I know that when I googled "Where is earth in space?" I got a nice little box, with the information of the galaxy that we've been stated to live in which WAS, in the galaxy Milkey Way, in the arm of saggitarius? In the outer part, with a very nice little CGI picture with a nice dot/marking to show the exact spot.
  Because of my facination for outerspace, spacetravels and a strong belief in life on other planets, well, I have  always spent thoughts with tremendous excitement and I have searched for this, meaning "where the position of our solar system is in the galaxy" so many many times before just because it fired me up to think of ideas for anti-gravity devices etc. and so that I could watch new NASA photos as they often enough happens to get linked in the top of the search anyway, but I have come to pass with the possibility of  having a memory problems, Well, everyone has selective memory, depending on how good or bad a situation has been etc. Like, when I do the search now.

I couldn't believe my eye's felt like it had to be either a LIE, memory problems or even me going crazy, so I kind of acted a bit special for a while. I though, don't really believe in the posibillity of anyone having a memory problem like that with the exception of the ocasional blunt force to the head, but in my belief everyone remembers everything, from the first memory til the last one, and the bigger problem is to actually trigger the memories to either show or not, because a trauma can actually lock up the memory, in a defensive manner.

Because of the many things that I have been through, there isn't much doubt about it and I can understand that my memory could be an issue, and that has been a strong thought, thru the whole almost one year of advanced and or strange thoughtpattern. The summer in '16 I began to get everything back, every ounce of memory that I have ever had, It was so frikkin strange, recalling the first memory, everyone I have met, how I met them, when, and which ones introduced who, but I have been acquainted with rather many people and that can get a bit overwhelming. So lets start, what happnened really? I can honestly say that, parts of the experience freaked me out, because of that situation, my whole path of thinking went through a big change. I parted way with the nicotine products, coffe or rather the intake of coffeine, sugar, alcohol especially when it reminds me of the smell of nailpolish cleaner and one alcoholic beverage even smelled like fungus/mold and I also became a vegan, because my whole belief system was totally ruined, there is life in everything and that really cought my thoughts which ended up me doing these changes rather fast, like in a one blink of an eye, because I understood my memories, where they had gotten me, got me thinking of wrath and sorrow, mindless small things, but mostly about my family situation, I hadn't talk to my father for well over 15 years, I had forgiven him in my mindset years ago and so this did not start just like that, the radification thoughts for my life began years earlier, I just couldnt stay decided to be a vegetarian or not, to stop smoking or not, talk to my family again after the last big break in trust and the loss of my brother. I already had the feeling that my "body and soul" needed some strict, strong and disciplined decisions, and after going back and forth and changing my life to the better and worse for a longer period of time, I just got that extra kick that I needed and I just took the step. A leap of faith.

I wonder if anyone could understand the strain on the mind when you get ALL your memories back, even when you where like 7 years old playing en the sandbox or watching a dead frog, the misery of seeing that flat thing on the ground, the non interesting memories, like when you sat in school and played around because the book was boring. The great memory when your father was healthier and decided to make dinner. It's a tremendous experience, and I am still arranging everything into the right order, because this life of mine has much lost dirt, I came out with many many ideas, because of this, well I see them as awesome, it is outside the box with about 3000%. I have not told everyone the whole story, because no one believes me, I have very few that are actually open enough to partly understand what I am saying, and once or twice the theories my mind produce or have ever produced, goes beyond in the levels of crazy. I know that Time and Space does not exist, I understand that everything can be bent around like matter never existed. I can't even describe the sensation of the belief of knowing something that others instead pass up as crazytalk. So many induviduals thinks, they are people living in a straight lineage with time inclosing them, well if you believe that life is linear in a straight line of time, well then i would tell you plainly, that you are having problems thinking outside the spectrum of 2D. Even as I write this very few understand the whole concept of that thought, but I am not here to talk about my understanding, ideas, theories and construct of thinking, because it would probably become a bigger issue as some people tend to think that you should be in an asylum when someone elses reality is different and that is a problem, people not being open for the ocasionally open minded induviduals thoughts.

I have really strong beliefs that will take me some time to actually write down, many of them are a bit to much for some people, to simple, which for them tend to sound like extreme thoughts.

This is what happened out of context of a whole story, and told in the most vulnereble moment, but I will tell you a little about the prestory starting a bit over a year ago, when I started feel better myself.
  I had met a woman, some time erlier, in 2014, I ended that in august 2015, this is the beginning of me actually trying to get forward in life, it was years since the last burst of excitement and energy. I had bought a car and I had to fix her up and one person, that I had gotten acquainted with the same summer, offered me to buy the needed in exchange of work with gardening, so I had to work for 40 hours roughly, it ended up me working for 4 weeks, and that was more or less a test by that person, to see if I could perform as a normal individual, (As I have ADHD and Asperger) to see if I would get back and do what I was told even if I didn't have someone watching me or told me what to do. This later gave me a chance of an lifetime that I probably haven't really blown yet but almost.

  It was hard work, standing out in the sun, and it gave me a lot of time to think, and lots of D-vitamin, which kind of made the whole me happier bit by bit, as I usually felt that everything was a misery anyway. This was part of the start for the change of my lifestyle, beginning with work outside, it can really get to you sometimes I mean, sweat and insects and thoughts, anyway. Fast Forward >> It's around winter, December to be exact, the time of the year, when I tend to get really depressed, (always been like that) so I didn't know what to do, I had a harder time to concentrate, so I did the inquiry to start of with ADHD medicine again. I used them for about 1½ month in total, I got wrecked, just felt no, not again, so I stopped and that was it, and I will not ever take that kind of medicine again, I had to work with myself again, but when I get depressed nothing works, I don't have any energy, but I had my situation where I at least tried and I thought that I could hold it, Still fighting the after effects of that decision, my mental stability just gave up, I over worked myself, with a company that I really liked and still do, the whole Oktober - April 2015'16 I was back to thinking my daily thoughts, the one's that I thought that I had gotten rid of, suicidal ones, jumping in front of or from, hanging my self in the neighbors tree, etc. and when I started to envision all my thoughts so that they got played out for me like a movie infront om me, I started thinking, I need to fix this.

I talked to the psychiatry, and told them that I would like to start with ADHD medication again, WHY THE FUDGE Would I do that (??!), but anyways, I started smalltalking about my sadness, It comes and goes, from day to day, I have no control over it, but did I say that? No, I told her that I felt sad and had been thinking of killing myself for a long time, it is not like I am going to do it, I just have the thoughtpattern. She didn't take me serious til I said that.. I wanted to die, and actually started to cry, I don't do things like that, I have always handled my problems by my own, with my own sense of radification, rationalisation etc. I did get anti-depression medication though, which I only used for a total of 25 days, at first I didn't react on them, or did I? I have no idea, I acted like I have always been, with overaccsessive use of the computer, searching for the normal videos and stuf, reading about my interests, which is like almost anything, and this is what i have been doing and I have been watching videos for years and years. Nothing got better, I was starting to think that the medication was placebo. Here Is the story of the thing that has many names but most commonly as maybe something in Spiritually, like that I had an awakening of greater magnitude, but In a medical view of the situation, it could very well be a psycosis, but I will tell you the rest AND what thoughts I have towards the whole thing. And If you have read the whole thing to this part, well then you probably want to read the rest.

I woke up in the middle of the night, with a great sensation in the body, I felt like I was burning from the inside like all my nerves where on fire and I was feeling energies, that hurted me at the time, those frequences was not in a syncronisation with me at all, It felt terrible, and as soon as I got out of the house and away from it,(100-150 meters) it got better, but spending a summernight outside at 4 almost 5 in the morning was out of the question, but it took about 1 hour til I could got over the worst sensitivity issues. One more thing that I also reacted to was the birds, all my senses was on a high pitch, and I saw, rings forming from the sound that the birds created, like ripples in the water around the birds. I was stunned at what I saw, and thought "This could NOT be real! I must be dreaming.", but It didn't feel like a dream. I tried to go indoors a couple of times, It was to much to handle, It felt like the whole house was surrounded by a frequency force field, that I could move freely through but it hurted, and it was only my heart that reacted and got hurt, nothing else, no feeling of being in someting with higher density or anything. It's so hard to explain. I woke my friend up and told him of everything and how I felt, what I felt and I drank water, because that dulled the sense of burning, which also was one thing, I only felt it when the temp rose around me. Outdoors it was comfortable. Feeling "energies", or rather frequences have been something that I have always been able to do, but not like this. I thought that I was going to die, that feeling wanished when I calmed down 25 min after waking up. After waking my friend and drinking lots and lots of water, the frequences felt like they where about to decipate and when that happened, I felt that It came from the phone and computer, I turned them off, and got back to sleep. It took me atleast 24 hours til I started the computer again and when I eventually started the computer again. Before I resume telling you about the whole situation I should say that I felt that something was clearly off, it felt like I had changed in some way, position or something, and I started the computer, and I started with some research, It is hard to explain to just anyone how I felt. I searched for the position of earth, and got excited and hysterical, I am now in Milkey Way, In the ORION ARM!? WHAT THE?! From the outer side of the galaxy to almost the middle? What is happening? Is it the first of April? Did I just get fooled by google? Nah, must had been my imagination. So I looked once more and decided to just go with the flow, til the notion that I actually, was somewhere else, I started getting my memories back, one by one, til I had a whole flow of it and I got unstable in my emotions, started to cry, and happy, cry and happy, all the feelings with the memories where so happy and sad that I had no Idea how to stop it, so I took to meditation, but that was not before I had one more strange feeling, the days to come I kept to myself, reading about displacement, memory, even psycosis, the medication, memories coming back, side effects etc, nothing really, fell into place, after a couple of days, I had the urge to just search yet again on the placement of earth, guess what? I was back in the Saggitarius arm, and I thought, have I just quantum jumped? Have I traveled through alternative worlds? That I ever so often had theories about, and I had been reading about the subject for years, because quantum physics kind of makes sense for me, I can't spell it out, I have just never been that very spiritual person, and have always placed my faith in science.

  I had so strange dreams the nights to come for a month to come actually, where enteties woke me in the middle of the night, shadows showing them selves just barely dragging me to a sitting position, dreams about strange crystal beings that was very beautiful and trying to talk to me, me waking up and watching myself have more than two arms deviding into particles and it happnened almost every night, but this was actually when I got back here, to Orion Earth. I searched for different things on the internet, if I hadn't found the information about the Mandela Effect, I would probably not had made any sense to myself, because the first two weeks where filled with memories in syncronisation. I have always been very open with the fact that I lost 15 years of my memories when I got taken by authorities and placed in custody at my cousin. So I have basically lived a life of almost 30 years with only the 15 last years till the "awakening". Some bits and pieces have always come out of hiding. I came into contact with other people, with similar problems, one of these an "old earther" a person from the saggitarius as so many others, but also some from other arms, claiming they come from a known flat earth which cought my mind for a while, I have always liked to think of the unthinkable, so WHAT IF THE EARTH WAS FLAT, well did anyone take it as a question? No, some people think that I believe that the earth that I now live on is flat, um, no, not convinced, but the possibility of such a place is always there, as there are endless possibilities and realms, and within the time that phycist's noticed black holes, one in particular had been acting strange, (I have always thought black holes to be the way to travel between universes in the multiverse, but not physically. Because you travel between realities/dimensions through your mind. Well when scientists can claim proof of alternative universes/realities/dimensions, only then can I say that I am right.) I actually told my friend after he had told me, that something was coming OUT of the black hole that had been found years earlier. (Common knowledge of black holes are that they suck in everything that gets near and the other part of the theory is that time will slow down, til it feels like it stops and it will get faster again whence on the other side, and because the "gravity" is of an extremly high magnitude means that everything that gets inside of it will be crushed, basically implosion.) I don't know, but energy does not act like that, it's not materia, our "soul" is nothing more than energy in my meaning and could most definetly travel through black holes as consciousness AND that was most definetly what I told one of my best friends, that I believe I and many others has been seen as the black hole stream. I don't claim that it was how I came to be here, but memory is nothing more than a frequency, a that is what everything basically is, and I believe that wisdom can travel in the form of vibration. He tried to talk me in to get examined for Psycosis, It took me 2 months to reason with him, and I know that I was calm all the time til the day that I got angry for the first time in 3 months, but that is what I claim, my friends claim that I screamed at them at the same timetable as I was back in Saggitarius (Old Earth). I take this whole thing very lightly right now, I can't do anything about it, so I live here and I meditate, meditation. Hmm, did'nt write about how it came to be, I didn't use my computer for from time to time, because I didn't feel to well by long exposure, and one morning I actually woke up by a surge and yet another belief that I was burning from the inside, but this time, I actually heard my self thinking I have to close my chakras! So found some videos on my pal Youtube how to do so, and after that I started to meditate daily in sunlight, and daily walks, I had so much motivation and energy, I was outside everyday, as it was my last but these feelings have disipated as long with some other feelings to, because I stopped with my daily meditation and I started drinking alcohol, which I wrote earlier smells like fungus, I believe it to be a very inflamatory beverage, and we should not drink it at all. Clean your wounds with aloevera and the instruments with alcohol, but don't drink it, but still, it dulls every sensory in the body, everything.
  The extra sensory!

    I felt really strange things, I could not understand it at first, It actually took me like two weeks to figure out that I am HSP or rather an Empath, well everyone is! When you understand someone because you can feel that persons pain, it's called empathy, it is the special power haha, had to! relate to other induviduals, I felt it so strong that I had problems understanding my shifting in temper, from happy to sad, and hurt etc, I have always had problems with feeling, Always been sadned, sometimes being the pillar of happiness when my surroundings had been jolly. Never really thought about it as really being able to feel other peoples pains and feelings, and I started to experimenting with myself, I started talking with random people, and I could feel my heart resonating with theirs, syncronising with theirs and feeling their heartbeat, and their feeling, the pains in their bodies etc. I believe that everyone is capable of this and that induviduals, with bipolar, borderline, autism spectra, schitzofrenia, is actually people with extra sensory, Schitzofrenia is the one that can be hardest to explain as it does not only have the same symptoms. Bipolar/Borderline, often enough goes hand in hand with Autism Spectra, and are almost in the realm of schitzofrenia. Autism Spectra is the innebillity to act on the feelings that they feel, it is one of the strongest inverted empaths. They feel so much but they do not understand it so it becomes to much, so instead of saying they are the strongest, they need to learn to handle it to be able to live a life at all, I have no idea, how but strong feelings of anger etc, is definetly NOT recommended anywhere near, I also have theories, about their minds being so calm that time as we understand it does not exist for them, that is why some of them are extremly hard to get contact with, it takes patience a lot of it and a big portion of unconditional love. For me a bipolar person is someone that can se parts of the decisions being made an also being able to see the alternative, they are the people that feels other peoples feelings but can not distinguish from their own or other peoples feelings, so they act out other induviduals thougts as impulsive actions. A common thing with Autism Spectra people is that they are very often really nice people, and so goes for Downs Syndrome, but I will not be dicussing that here at all. If someone with an open mind and who has the background within psychiatry would listen to me, I could probably tell them some things, HSP (Highly Sensitive Person) is already a somewhat used termonology for a high sensory person within, psychiatry and that is a really good start, but they still don't understand what is causing this, I told people the summer of '69 haha. ;P '16 that I do not believe in some of the conditions within psychiatry on the issue of mental health, as it is only a lack of understanding.

Well the state that I have been in could as easily be passed of as a Psycosis, but I don't believe in that either, More or less, I belive it to be part of life, something that everyone goes through, not as strogly as others though, and it is probably something that the mind does, when it believes that the individual is ready to take on some really difficult problems, as I have had many, I will not go into detail, as it is of the "past" and I have forgiven the induviduals involved.

One of the hardest things are to forgive, but the easier of the two is to forgive someone else.

So I don't believe that anyone else have the right to punish the people more than themselves, and that is what I believe schitzofrenia with visions of monsters etc are doing, they have succumbed to their fear, and is letting that deside what other things are and are not. If you are a linear person, then the person with schitzofrenia are experiencing many possible doorways at once, many alternative realities at once, and because no one really understands them or what they are going through, they have problems understanding which reality they are in atm, and they can be very afraid of simple things like a butterfly, I believe this to be that the brain of an "opened mind" is co-operating in a different way, instead of the logical and creative parts of the brain, it instead uses the reptilian (basic needs part, which in my belief has authority over all fears etc.) and creative parts of the brain. Well this maybe sounds easy, but it has to do with an extreme fear, and is part of trauma, which has not been fixed or discussed. I think that the brain have different ways of expressing trauma in diffent stages, so what others see is different mental issues, but is really only one thing, that the brain has not searched itself out yet and cannot, become whole, because sorrow is holding everything back. Sorry, I don't really have a great understanding of the whole thing, I just know what I went through.    
 That will be all for now, because I have been writing constantly for about 5 hours i think.  
  I will have to read this part over and over again so that it will be readable, because I think of so many things at the same time, and I try to implement them as fast as possible, that can make it hard to read.






The Philosophies of a Mad Man.

All Life is Equal.
All Life is Sacred.
Respect Life & Life will Respect you.

I Am Morally Strict and Righteous. We all need to Change for the better, because we are all Connected.

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